atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize