So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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