i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
