What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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