Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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