Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Randomize
