Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
