well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
