Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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