But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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