There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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