Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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