please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
