wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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