i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
