it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
