my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
