: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
dude i'm inner monologue high
that's an acceptable place to lick
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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