Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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