i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize