i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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