Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Randomize
