Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
