She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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