We named our party play list daddy issues
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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