Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
