Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
