She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
