Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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