So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
