there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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