i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i think i have herpe
just one?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Randomize
