therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
