I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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