somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
