Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I supernannyed him into submission
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
