"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
