i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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