I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me