Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Randomize
Follow @tfln