I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
