I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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