If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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