Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
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on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
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I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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