No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
