I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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