apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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