Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
