she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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