mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
