Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
