i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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