It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Damn victory sex feels great
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
