Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
worst night to have a conscience
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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