You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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