i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
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