Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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