So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
The Olympian is in my bed
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
